Lewis Carroll

1846

Dear Diary,

I’m 14 years old and today is a big day for me. Tomorrow, I’ll be starting high school in Warwickshire. I am the oldest boy in our family of 11 children so it’s really exciting. I’m so happy because it’s a really good school but I find it hard to leave my family and home behind. My father is a clergyman here in Daresbury. He sometimes travels for work and I miss him so much when he does. I wonder if my family will miss me when I’m gone. I know that I will miss them and my siblings for sure. I’m sure that my father and mother will appreciate my work whatever I do. I don’t know what to do or say. I’m so excited, I haven’t left home before. My biggest wish is to go to a good college and make my parents proud. My only concern is that I’m really bad at sports. Although, It’s a great school, I’m not sure that I’ll be able to make many friends. I hope I manage to fit in.

 

1850

Dear Diary, 

Apparently, I wasn’t very good at rugby but that didn’t matter because I was great at mathematics and writing. I applied to Christ Church College at the University of Oxford and believe it or not I got in. Sadly, I can’t start this semester because there aren’t enough rooms for me to stay in the dormitory. That’s so sad. I hope I don’t lose my chance to attend this school. I’ve been wanting it since I was a child. I love the thought of myself sitting at the same desks as my father did. The reason for my successes is my father. I started writing because I was inspired by the descriptive and imaginative letters that my father sent us when he was away for work. Also, he is very talented at mathematics so there is no doubt that I got that from him too. I feel so lucky. 

 

1851

Dear Diary,

Two days ago, I was full of happiness and excitement, my dream had come true, I was at Christ Church College at the University of Oxford. It was as if it was too good to be true. But guess what happened next. The universe equalised the good and the bad and something that I really didn’t see coming until today. It was just a normal day. I was still so happy to be going to this school until I heard that my mother had died. The universe stopped at that moment. I couldn’t believe my ears. All I wanted was to see her again and I was so angry that I couldn’t be there with her on the last days of her life. Can you imagine how that feels like? I don’t know what to do. Maybe going to this school wasn’t the best thing for me. All I want to do right now is to stop whatever I’m doing and be there for the rest of my family.

 

1852

Dear Diary,

You won’t believe what happened. After all this time of not going to school, I think I finally am starting again. I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to school in my life but Christ Church College at the University of Oxford offered me a studentship. This is a very rare situation, so I felt really lucky and eager. Not every 20-year-old has the opportunity to study in a school as remarkable as Christ Church College. I’m not even talking about studying there for free. This is a big honour for me. I won’t let anything ruin this and I will make my siblings and father proud. I heard that I was going to have many chances to give speeches about mathematics. I will become a big man and make money for my family. I hope my future goes as I imagine it. Wish me luck.

 

 1854

Dear Diary,

My life in Christ Church College at the University of Oxford past just the way I imagined it. It was the best years of my life and I still can’t believe that it’s over. I don’t know what I’ll the afterwards. Right now, I’m getting ready for my graduation ceremony. I know this sounds like an end but it actually is more like a beginning to me. This moment is the start to my real life. From now on, I’m free and on my own. I’ve been taking care of myself since I was very little but for some reason, this time it feels different. For the past few years, I’ve been giving speeches and also publishing stories and poems both locally and nationally. I won many academic prizes and today, I will be graduating with First Class Honors in Mathematics and Second Class Honors in Classics. I’m so nervous.

 

1855

Dear Diary,

Do you know Rev. Henry Liddell? He’s a very nice man. He became the dean of Christ Church College just a few weeks ago. He told me that he saw the spark in me and decided to 

appoint me as a mathematics lecturer. I love talking about mathematics and informing other people although it takes a lot of time. I realised that I didn’t have any hobbies. I wouldn’t even want to think of how hard it would be to try to give lectures and keep up with your hobby. Anyway, Henry also introduced me to his family. We actually spend a lot of time together. He has ten beautiful children. We sometimes have dinner together. My favorite of them is Alice. She’s only three years old and she’s full of cuteness. She has adorable big eyes and a tiny nose. I wish she was my daughter. I keep photos of her in my house. Actually, I take those photos. I think I actually have a hobby and it’s photography.

 

1857

Deary Diary,

Do you remember the time I told you that I didn’t know what I was going to do with my life after graduating. Well, I decided that I couldn’t leave my dear school like that and decided to stay some more for graduate studies. For the last 3 years, I’ve been working hard and now, it’s time to really leave this school. It’s funny how I can’t separate from Christ Church. Even when I’m not there physically, I’m there mentally. Maybe it’s because the school has been with me no matter what happened. When my mother died, it decided to give me a studentship. Of course it wasn’t the school that was deciding, it was the principal but still I guess the school has been my best friend through these hard years. Now, It’s time for me to get my master’s degree and leave my school for good. It’s time to find my own job and stop studying.

 

1864

Dear Diary,

I love Christmas so much. I love giving presents and making people happy. I love seeing the smiles on their faces and the one person that would make me the happiest to see smiling is Alice. That’s why I decided to give her a Christmas present that will make a huge smile occur on her face. Two years ago, we were on a boat trip with Henry Lidell and his family. Alice asked me to tell her a story and I made one up. The story was about a girl called Alice who fell down a rabbit hole and found herself in a different world. She loved it so much that I thought it shouldn’t just be forgotten. I’ve been transferring that little story into a brand new notebook and today is the day to give it to it’s new owner. I’ve been very careful so that there wouldn’t be any mistakes. It’s a little longer than the version I told her but it’s better. I hope that her father reads it to her every night for her to see colourful dreams and sleep peacefully.

 

1865

Dear Diary,

Have I ever told you the story of me choosing my pen name? Do you even know that I made a pen name up for myself? It’s Lewis Carroll. It was actually born from the Latinized version of Charles Lutwidge. I think it’s better than Charles Lutwidge Dodgson. What do you think? Anyway, I’ve been using this name for some time now. I haven’t had the chance to use my pen name a lot, just for some poems and articles. Today is the day for it to finally be written on the cover of something important. Today, the final draft of the story I told Alice is getting published. I named it “Alice's Adventures in Wonderland”. I know that little Alice will be so happy to see her story being told to other little kids so that they can see colourful dreams and sleep peacefully. I know I’m still calling her little Alice but she is thirteen years old. She will always stay the same cheerful child in my eyes.

 

 

 

1868

Dear Diary, 

I’ve lost all the happiness I had. Even Alice can’t fix this now. I feel like bad things keep happening to me. A very short time ago, I lost my biggest mentor in life, my father. I don’t know what I’ll do without him. I want to lock myself into a small, dark room and never get out. No matter how badly I feel, I know I can’t do that. I’ve got responsibilities. I am the only man left in the family. I will take good care of my siblings. Actually, I am taking good care of them. A few days ago, I bought a house in Guildford, England for my six unmarried sisters. No matter how hard it seems to hold on to life, I won’t give up. To be honest, this is one of the hardest points I’ve gone through my life. I will keep on writing and publishing new books. Maybe that will keep me willing to live.

 

1871

It’s been three years since I have last written and those two years have been so hard. I suffered from depression for a long time but finally I am back to normal. I am happy to be alive and I am happy that I had the chance to live a life as full as mine. I still lecture, take photographs and write in my free time. Indeed, I’ve been writing a new book. It’s the sequence to “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland”. The name of it is “Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There”. I think writing a sequel to “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” was a great idea. People loved my book and Alice so why not write another one? I haven’t seen Alice in a while. I miss her. I took more photographs of her and they are all beautiful. As I said, I would really like to have a daughter like her but in order to have that, I would have to have a wife first and it looks like that will never happen.

 

1881

Dear Diary, 

I think I’m getting old and my energy is decreasing day by day. I quit photography a few years ago and I quit lectureship a few days ago. I’m not sure what I will keep on doing and what other things I will quit in the future. I’m not even sure that I have many years ahead of me. Lecturing was a really big part of my life. Even though my lectures seem like the only connection between me and Christ Church, it isn’t. I will always stay connected to my school. Now that I have a lot of free time, I have no idea how I will spend them. I think that the only thing I won’t quit is writing. I’ve written a lot for the past years. My most important work are a nonsense poem called “The Hunting of the Snark” and a mathematical book about mathematician Euclid called “Euclid and His Modern Rivals”. I will keep up with my good work.